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My Favorite Game Is S**t

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
A game about a different game that is not actually like that game. I mean, yeah, you get to shoot stuff, but all the real meat's in the original. The original's not the best either. This is their fifth shot at making the dumb thing, and they still can't decide if they want the setting to be sci-fi or fantasy. So there you go, running off in psuedo-seattle, shooting people, hacking computers, and using drones as you try to find the killer of your friend, only to find weird bug spirits are trying to destroy the world.
Watch_Dogs maybe?

Grumpy black-clad teenager playing an MMO goes on a quest for vengeance because some girl he has a crush on is in a coma after her character got pwned by a virus-infected player that he doesn't realize was his mentor the entire time.
 

DungeonMiner

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Watch_Dogs maybe?
Shadowrun Returns, actually, I'm kinda obscure, so no big surprise that no one got it.

Grumpy black-clad teenager playing an MMO goes on a quest for vengeance because some girl he has a crush on is in a coma after her character got pwned by a virus-infected player that he doesn't realize was his mentor the entire time.
Not a guess, but that seriously sounds like a Sword Art Online plot.
 

$Bison

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2016
68
223
Grumpy black-clad teenager playing an MMO goes on a quest for vengeance because some girl he has a crush on is in a coma after her character got pwned by a virus-infected player that he doesn't realize was his mentor the entire time.
.hack?
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Yes! Exactly, $Bison. Specifically the GU subseries.

Just to keep this thread going, three way galactic war between cyborgs who want independence, a religious group that want to live in peace, and an oppressive government that wants to enslave both so as to "reunite humanity". More city building and resource management.
 

OCisbestungulate

Always watching you
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Feb 3, 2016
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Yes! Exactly, $Bison. Specifically the GU subseries.

Just to keep this thread going, three way galactic war between cyborgs who want independence, a religious group that want to live in peace, and an oppressive government that wants to enslave both so as to "reunite humanity". More city building and resource management.
Supreme Commander?
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Correct!

This annoying forum game where we have to talk as trashy about stuff we like as possible to see if anyone else can guess what it is.

Mindlessly addictive cellphone game where you wander about trying to stuff virtual monsters into red and white colored balls. Real world landmarks have some kind of significance or another.
 
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DungeonMiner

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Oh, come on, now, those are too easy!
My Favorite Game is S**t, and Pokemon Go.

The game drops you off in the middle of nowhere. It gives you no objective, and you have nothing. You are sent back to the stone age, although, they can't even get that right. The game then pretends to be deep, spewing forth a ton of nonsensical BS at you, and you have to sit through it all.
 

Avering

Pew-Pew
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Feb 3, 2016
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Your soup
Rust? I only know the game by name really, so not really sure.

The devs decided CoD and BF is not hardcore enough, so they made an ultra realistic game, where the AI either have no idea what's going on and you can shoot it without it retaliating, or they can shoot you in the head from a km away through a forest, two windows and 6 bushes.
 

NeoTensai

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Ok here is one for you. I don't know if you had done it before but here is my favorite game is S**t.

You control one of 6 factions of the game. There are many ways to win but the most common is to eliminate all other factions on the map. You move around one or more characters on horseback each possesing his own units, equipables, skills and magic,
exploring a map filled with rewards and dangers. Movement thought the map is pretty slow at least in the begining. You use resorces you gathered on the map and resorces that were generated by possesing special buildings on the map to upgrade your base, buy units and upgrade them.

I tried to be as vague as possible, if its too hard will input more details.
 

DungeonMiner

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Feb 3, 2016
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Rust? I only know the game by name really, so not really sure.
Close. Minecraft, actually, thus the "pretending to be deep" thing.

The devs decided CoD and BF is not hardcore enough, so they made an ultra realistic game, where the AI either have no idea what's going on and you can shoot it without it retaliating, or they can shoot you in the head from a km away through a forest, two windows and 6 bushes.
Well, I know it's an FPS. The problem is there are so many, and they're all roughly the same...

Hang on a second...

*throws dart at wall*

Is it Arma 3?
 

Avering

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Is it Arma 3?
All of them to be honest. The AI can be ridiculous at times. One time you are just standing there, your jaw on the floor with the squad moving like a well oiled machine, checking corners, scouting ahead, USING THE GODDAMNED COVER, while at others they just stand in the middle of the road or are running around like headless chickens, never mind the tank rolling up on them.
 

DungeonMiner

A guy who likes to write
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Feb 3, 2016
219
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Middle of Nowhere, Georgia
Ok here is one for you. I don't know if you had done it before but here is my favorite game is S**t.

You control one of 6 factions of the game. There are many ways to win but the most common is to eliminate all other factions on the map. You move around one or more characters on horseback each possesing his own units, equipables, skills and magic,
exploring a map filled with rewards and dangers. Movement thought the map is pretty slow at least in the begining. You use resorces you gathered on the map and resorces that were generated by possesing special buildings on the map to upgrade your base, buy units and upgrade them.

I tried to be as vague as possible, if its too hard will input more details.
Is this Age of Wonders 3?
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
I know my last ones were too easy but I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel, metaphorically. You should've known that when I put up an Atari 2600 game.

Older educational Star Wars themed game about making robots and solving physics puzzles.
 

NeoTensai

Twitch Streamer, Amateur Shoutcaster...
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Feb 11, 2016
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Is this Age of Wonders 3?
Nop It's more Fantasy/"Middle ages". The game plays out like a turn-based strategy game, that goes for navigating the map and when you attack an enemy hero. When a battle between heroes start you are moved from the map to a battlefield made of hexagons. Each unit occupies one hex, big units occupy 2.
 

Avering

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Feb 3, 2016
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Nop It's more Fantasy/"Middle ages". The game plays out like a turn-based strategy game, that goes for navigating the map and when you attack an enemy hero. When a battle between heroes start you are moved from the map to a battlefield made of hexagons. Each unit occupies one hex, big units occupy 2.
Heroes? Disciples? The latter one doesn't have that large unit occupy two hexes, while I've never played with the former.

But anyways, I'm curious if somebody will recognise this.
*Ahem*
The game was probably made in weeks, even your own controlled character is just a black blob. And the only goal in the game is to make snowmen in a park.

I know I'm not good at making stuff sound bad, but at least I try. You guys should too, it's funnier that way. Also the thread is named so.
 

OCisbestungulate

Always watching you
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Feb 3, 2016
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Ok here is one for you. I don't know if you had done it before but here is my favorite game is S**t.

You control one of 6 factions of the game. There are many ways to win but the most common is to eliminate all other factions on the map. You move around one or more characters on horseback each possesing his own units, equipables, skills and magic,
exploring a map filled with rewards and dangers. Movement thought the map is pretty slow at least in the begining. You use resorces you gathered on the map and resorces that were generated by possesing special buildings on the map to upgrade your base, buy units and upgrade them.

I tried to be as vague as possible, if its too hard will input more details.
Oh derp! Heroes of Might and Magic! Of course! I grew up playing those games. The question is, which one?
 

NeoTensai

Twitch Streamer, Amateur Shoutcaster...
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Feb 11, 2016
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Oh derp! Heroes of Might and Magic! Of course! I grew up playing those games. The question is, which one?
Bingo. Well it really doesn't matter which one from the series, since all of them are similar. But I was going for the best one and that is Heroes of Might and Magic III: The Restoration of Erathia. Good Job
 

DungeonMiner

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Feb 3, 2016
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Alright, since I can't figure the Star Wars game above, here's another.

You play the part of a heartless monster. Your uncle or whatever woke not-Cthulhu, and went "Oh well, it's your job now," leaving you nothing while you go and try to fix his dumb mistake. Since you also play a coward, you don't actually go there, though. No, you hire social outcasts, knowing full well they will die, hiring them for a small lump sum for their service until their inevitable demise. You offer no benefits, they get no gold, and they have to slog through scores and scores of lovecraftian horrors while you sit on your easy chair back in the village you're based out of. When they get back, they're so shaken they probably need therapy, but you probably won't get it to them because you're too cheap to get a second seat at the shrink's and someone else has the first. You greedy monster.
 

OCisbestungulate

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Feb 3, 2016
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Bingo. Well it really doesn't matter which one from the series, since all of them are similar. But I was going for the best one and that is Heroes of Might and Magic III: The Restoration of Erathia. Good Job
Nah, Heroes 4 was the best of them all :D

Kidding aside, it and 5 are actually my faves. Yes, I know, heresy, but I kinda like the ugly look of 4, and the part where one's heroes are actually on the field. Makes it almost feel like an RPG in a way.
 

TyphlUpgrade

When the Eleven-Day Empire eats the sky...
Crowdfund Backer
You play as a practically mute character that you make in the customization screen. It wont matter either way because your helmet will be on the entire time because your character is ugly. After that, a starfish shaped floating thing follows you around while you shoot things for a giant marble that gives you super powers that mainly involve big explosions and lack of creativity on the game designers' part. The vanilla half of the game completely blows except for one activity that requires six people without matchmaking. In order to actually enjoy the game you just spent $60+ on you have to get the DLC, which costs another 60 bucks.





Still better than Madden.
 
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DungeonMiner

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Feb 3, 2016
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Things begin in the middle of nowhere. You are given six short minions to obey your commands, and you are in charge of keeping them alive. Alright. No problem, right? Wrong. First, the minions themselves. They obey your orders directly, you just say you want such-and-such done, and they'll get around to it eventually. Need to build a well or you all die of thirst? Meh, I'm gonna build this table first, nevermind that my friends and family are dropping like dehydrated flies around me. They have little-to-no reguard for their own safety, running blindly into danger before panicking, and scattering to the wind.

And that's just the minions! This game looks so bad, that you can barely tell the difference between a Yeti, and a Yak. One of which wants to kill you, the other being a source of food. Giants in cow's skin, notwithstanding, the types of things that are trying to kill you in this game are either super OP super monsters that could make Doomsday look like a walk in the park, while others might accidentally kill themselves. Of course, in order to die to these guys, you need to survive long enough first. Never before in a game have you had to deal with the utter hopelessness of starvation. No dirt? No Water? No food! Your little minions will be forced to eat vermin to survive, and because they need vermin to survive, they won't make more food! The next thing you know, there's just a massive spiral of death and depression, leaving no one left in the meager shelter you built to keep these people alive.

And the kicker? The game is so bad, you want this to happen. You actively want your little minions to die. You know it's going to happen, so the best you can hope for is an interesting death, and the game knows it.
 
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OCisbestungulate

Always watching you
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Feb 3, 2016
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Things begin in the middle of nowhere. You are given six short minions to obey your commands, and you are in charge of keeping them alive. Alright. No problem, right? Wrong. First, the minions themselves. They obey your orders directly, you just say you want such-and-such done, and they'll get around to it eventually. Need to build a well or you all die of thirst? Meh, I'm gonna build this table first, nevermind that my friends and family are dropping like dehydrated flies around me. They have little-to-no reguard for their own safety, running blindly into danger before panicking, and scattering to the wind.

And that's just the minions! This game looks so bad, that you can barely tell the difference between a Yeti, and a Yak. One of which wants to kill you, the other being a source of food. Giants in cows, notwithstanding, the types of things that are trying to kill you in this game are either super OP super monster that could make Doomsday look like a walk in the park, while others might accidentally kill themselves. Of course, in order to die to these guys, you need to survive long enough first. Never before in a game have you had to deal with the utter hopelessness of starvation. No dirt? No Water? No food! Your little minions will be forced to eat vermin to survive, and because they need vermin to survive, they won't make more food! The next thing you know, there's just a massive spiral of death and depression, leaving no one left in the meager shelter you built to keep these people alive.

And the kicker? The game is so bad, you want this to happen. You actively want your little minions to die. You know it's going to happen, so the best you can hope for is an interesting death, and the game knows it.
Dwarf Fortress.
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
One of a very rare breed of Gamecube JRPGs, this one has a real-time battle system and a total of nine playable characters, though you can only have eight at a time. It involves an idiot main hero trying to save the world from half-elven Nazis.

Survival horror game where you're trapped in the security room of a pizza parlor and the animatronic mascots have gone crackers and are trying to kill you. For some reason, you have magnet-lock doors but only a limited supply of electricity to use them.
 

RustleRustle

Sunbreaker Titan, Fireteam "Ad Mare Cognitum III"
Mar 31, 2016
76
197
European Dead Zone, Earth
This game was my childhood. Dunno why, 'cause everyone says it's terrible.
Anyways, you're apparently this once in a purple thing or something or other, and you get sent off by this guy you've never met for more than an hour to go find some other guys you've never heard of, all the while being stalked by this freaky chick.

Long story short, turns out freaky chick was someone you were born with in the same location, and you end up starting a relationship with her, all the while an apocalyptic war is going on. You kill another once in a purple thing, but he's evil so whatevs.

The first game was extremely linear, and extremely short. The second was insanely difficult because of rushed balancing. And the third was BLOOM. A LOT OF IT.

I wish it got a remake for current gen and PC, but a certain publisher sold the rights to a certain toy company, who uses the franchise to pawn their crappy toys.

Listen, if you're a parent, and you buy your kids these toys, I legitimately hope you find scarabs in your bed.
 

DungeonMiner

A guy who likes to write
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Feb 3, 2016
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Survival horror game where you're trapped in the security room of a pizza parlor and the animatronic mascots have gone crackers and are trying to kill you. For some reason, you have magnet-lock doors but only a limited supply of electricity to use them.
Five Nights at Freddy's.

Don't actually know the first one.

This game was my childhood. Dunno why, 'cause everyone says it's terrible.
Anyways, you're apparently this once in a purple thing or something or other, and you get sent off by this guy you've never met for more than an hour to go find some other guys you've never heard of, all the while being stalked by this freaky chick.

Long story short, turns out freaky chick was someone you were born with in the same location, and you end up starting a relationship with her, all the while an apocalyptic war is going on. You kill another once in a purple thing, but he's evil so whatevs.

The first game was extremely linear, and extremely short. The second was insanely difficult because of rushed balancing. And the third was BLOOM. A LOT OF IT.

I wish it got a remake for current gen and PC, but a certain publisher sold the rights to a certain toy company, who uses the franchise to pawn their crappy toys.

Listen, if you're a parent, and you buy your kids these toys, I legitimately hope you find scarabs in your bed.
Spyro?
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Getting this back on track.

Crazy fast poker card game that involves up to eight players using different decks. Somewhat resembles solitaire and known for causing swearing.
 

Saki

Spirit of a Pro Gamer
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Feb 3, 2016
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I just got into another game!
Press two buttons furiously on your keyboard and move your mouse wildly trying to stay alive. When you fail, you dive right back in because you're a moron. Die again. Art students and Asians are better than you. Your god is a cookie. Bow down. People on reddit lord over you that they only use one button. The worst, most infuriating, greatest three-minute time waster that takes like, an hour of warmup before you die horribly.
 
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