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  • Them's Fightin' Herds

    Current Version: Early Access 17.2: 7.8.2019

My Favorite Game Is S**t

DungeonMiner

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So the game starts and you're this girl who's just looking at a body, her emotions might have crashed though because she doesn't seem to respond to the dead man right in front of her, she just takes the bloody blade from him like its some kind of RPG and moves on. The combat is some weird-ass fusion of turn-based strategy and action combat that thinks that a person can't have enough memory to queue up more than 3 or 4 actions, although since the main character is mute, she might just be mentally handicapped enough only to remember that much, maybe that's why there's someone who's constantly reminding her what to do and acting as a narrator/giver of exposition at the same time. The in-game lore is obnoxious to access as the game forces you to use the people you collect in every possible attack slot in order to process their information enough to read. I think the game designer's were just spreading a message about how colours are terrible, since everything's completely white by the end of the game anyway.
I felt sorry no one answered this one, Transistor. And shame on you, Bastion was awesome.

Alright. So, this is a universe where demigods roam the stars. Eight-foot-tall super soldiers with fully automatic rocket-launcher guns that could go one-on-one with a jedi and probably win are typically the poster boy, and rightfully so. But screw that, you get to play a normal human floating on a cathedral ship because you and everyone you know are huge xenophobic, bigoted, religious fanatics. So you and your cult ship, which is made out of super obsolete stuff, fly around, fighting masses of cobbled-together junk (which can and will do better than you), super-advanced aliens (which you won't learn from because you're too jealous of their technology, and too proud to admit it), and the only free-thinkers in the universe that used to be members of your cult until they realized how stupid the whole thing is. And get this, early on in the game, you find out you're being attacked, you warn your boss, and he tortures you for it, even though everyone will admit you saved the day!

Not a favorite, per say, but fun. Also, cookie to whoever guesses this one correctly!
 
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Rocketknightgeek

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Here's one:
Blank slate walks around the world solving the lazy people's problems (like cleaning up horse s**t in their barns) to gain eternal paradise, gets nothing of the sort in return. Also, the villain gets off scot-free.
Sounds like life.
 

Killer Beast

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I felt sorry no one answered this one, Transistor. And shame on you, Bastion was awesome.

Alright. So, this is a universe where demigods roam the stars. Eight-foot-tall super soldiers with fully automatic rocket-launcher guns that could go one-on-one with a jedi and probably win are typically the poster boy, and rightfully so. But screw that, you get to play a normal human floating on a cathedral ship because you and everyone you know are huge xenophobic, bigoted, religious fanatics. So you and your cult ship, which is made out of super obsolete stuff, fly around, fighting masses of cobbled-together junk (which can and will do better than you), super-advanced aliens (which you won't learn from because you're too jealous of their technology, and too proud to admit it), and the only free-thinkers in the universe that used to be members of your cult until they realized how stupid the whole thing is. And get this, early on in the game, you find out you're being attacked, you warn your boss, and he tortures you for it, even though everyone will admit you saved the day!

Not a favorite, per say, but fun. Also, cookie to whoever guesses this one correctly!
This is that WH40k ship game, isn't it? Gothic Armada, if memory serves? I have to say, Bruva, these things that you've been saying, they sound... incredibly HERETIC.
 

DungeonMiner

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This is that WH40k ship game, isn't it? Gothic Armada, if memory serves? I have to say, Bruva, these things that you've been saying, they sound... incredibly HERETIC.
What? Heresy? Where? In all seriousness though, it's not hard to make the WH40k universe sound bad, they do a pretty good job at it as is.

And now, before you call the Inquisition down on me, the promised cookie.
 
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Killer Beast

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What? Heresy? Where? In all seriousness though, it's not hard to make the WH40k universe sound bad, they do a pretty good job at it as is.

And now, before you call the Inquisition down on me, the promised cookie.
Aww, sweet a cookie! Hey, wait! There's no cookie here... are you trying to... bribe me?
 

DungeonMiner

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Alright, so the game opens with you riding around in a cart to show you basically nothing around not-Scandinavia, before you wind up in trouble with the law. Luckily, the coolest guy ever shows up and breaks you out. You then spend the rest of the game not playing the game, but stealing stuff, imitating Nathan Drake (Uncharted being an obviously superior game), cooking, and hiring yourself out to cut wood or make dinner knives. The more famous points of the game are, killing people (which you do in the game anyway), becoming a magic ripoff of Indiana Jones, joining a furry club, settling the stupidest fight in history, or stealing crap you don't need because after five hours, you already have tens of thousands of gold pieces. The lore's shot to hell, too. Great one-of-a-kind "artifacts" can be sold for less money than you could buy a house with, and you, yourself, the most important person in history according to some cliche prophecy, is barely treated with respect. The game is so broken that it's generally agreed that the best way to play it is to exploit the darn thing, or mod it to the point where it's a different game entirely. Oh, and here's the real kicker, that cool guy that saved your life at the beginning? The whole point of the game is to hunt him down, and kill him.

0/10-garbage
499 hours played.
 
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OCisbestungulate

Always watching you
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Alright, so the game opens with you riding around in a cart to show you basically nothing around not-Scandinavia, before you wind up in trouble with the law. Luckily, the coolest guy ever shows up and breaks you out. You then spend the rest of the game not playing the game, but stealing stuff, imitating Nathan Drake (Uncharted being an obviously superior game), cooking, and hiring yourself out to cut wood or make dinner knives. The more famous points of the game are, killing people (which you do in the game anyway), becoming a magic ripoff of Indiana Jones, joining a furry club, settling the stupidest fight in history, or stealing crap you don't need because after five hours, you already have tens of thousands of gold pieces. The lore's shot to hell, too. Great one-of-a-kind "artifacts" can be sold for less money than you could buy a house with, and you, yourself, the most important person in history according to some cliche prophecy, is barely treated with respect. The game is so broken that it's generally agreed that the best way to play it is to exploit the darn thing, or mod it to the point where it's a different game entirely. Oh, and here's the real kicker, that cool guy that saved your life at the begging? The whole point of the game is to hunt him down, and kill him.

0/10-garbage
499 hours played.
Skyrim. What tipped me off was the hours you played.
 

Shadow of Death

Grushdeva Du Kalt Misht
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I was suspicious when I hit the point about hiring yourself out to cut wood myself. Then I looked back on what was mentioned previous, and thought that yep, it could be applied to Skyrim. What clinched it then was the whole being in trouble with the law and riding around in the cart.
 

DungeonMiner

A guy who likes to write
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Feb 3, 2016
219
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Skyrim. What tipped me off was the hours you played.
I was suspicious when I hit the point about hiring yourself out to cut wood myself. Then I looked back on what was mentioned previous, and thought that yep, it could be applied to Skyrim. What clinched it then was the whole being in trouble with the law and riding around in the cart.
Both correct! The Uncharted and Indy references both apply to the dungeoneering you do, plus the Mage's guild, where you mess around with the eye of magnus, which should probably belong in a museum.
Also, Alduin stares as the cool guy, which I mean mostly from a design standpoint.
 

OCisbestungulate

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Both correct! The Uncharted and Indy references both apply to the dungeoneering you do, plus the Mage's guild, where you mess around with the eye of magnus, which should probably belong in a museum.
Also, Alduin stares as the cool guy, which I mean mostly from a design standpoint.
I don't know man. I think Nord a pretty cool guy. I mean, he kills Jarls and doesn't afraid of anything.
 

Rich Jammer

By the Numbers Accountant
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This game you play as pirates not in the sea but in the air for some gosh darn reason. The game can't make up it's mind on the technology it's world uses. It's either early 20th century or 16th century but with flying ships for some reason that's not explained. The game can't also make up it's mind if it wants to stick to on the ground battle or ship to ship battle. And this game is pretty notorious for the amount of random battle encounters which is the most frustrating in the water level. But you can predict when the battles come because you can hear the disc drive reading the disc to load the random encounter.
 

Rocketknightgeek

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This game you play as pirates not in the sea but in the air for some gosh darn reason. The game can't make up it's mind on the technology it's world uses. It's either early 20th century or 16th century but with flying ships for some reason that's not explained. The game can't also make up it's mind if it wants to stick to on the ground battle or ship to ship battle. And this game is pretty notorious for the amount of random battle encounters which is the most frustrating in the water level. But you can predict when the battles come because you can hear the disc drive reading the disc to load the random encounter.
Skies of Arcadia. And yes, that water level really, really overdoes it.

A shower curtain designer creates a hellish death maze and eventually leaves it to his wife on the proviso that she be unwillingly transfered into an unfeeling body that doesn't remember who she was. She then tortures her own child as revenge for having killed her.
 

Avering

Pew-Pew
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Feb 3, 2016
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Your soup
The game promises you cake, then it fails to deliver. Then to add insult to injury, it even shows said cake which we don't get at the very end of the game.
 

RustleRustle

Sunbreaker Titan, Fireteam "Ad Mare Cognitum III"
Mar 31, 2016
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European Dead Zone, Earth
The game promises you cake, then it fails to deliver. Then to add insult to injury, it even shows said cake which we don't get at the very end of the game.
Portal. Too easy.

An old WW2 game, but no one cares about the story, it's all about the survival mode easter egg turned money-printer.
Unless you have the PC version, then you get a METRIC TON of maps for free.
 

Killer Beast

Kept you waiting, huh?
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Feb 3, 2016
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Portal. Too easy.

An old WW2 game, but no one cares about the story, it's all about the survival mode easter egg turned money-printer.
Unless you have the PC version, then you get a METRIC TON of maps for free.
Is Call of Duty: World at War considered old now?

Skies of Arcadia. And yes, that water level really, really overdoes it.

A shower curtain designer creates a hellish death maze and eventually leaves it to his wife on the proviso that she be unwillingly transfered into an unfeeling body that doesn't remember who she was. She then tortures her own child as revenge for having killed her.
Portal 2, but some stuff I feel is closer to speculation.
 

OCisbestungulate

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This game you play as pirates not in the sea but in the air for some gosh darn reason. The game can't make up it's mind on the technology it's world uses. It's either early 20th century or 16th century but with flying ships for some reason that's not explained. The game can't also make up it's mind if it wants to stick to on the ground battle or ship to ship battle. And this game is pretty notorious for the amount of random battle encounters which is the most frustrating in the water level. But you can predict when the battles come because you can hear the disc drive reading the disc to load the random encounter.
I take it you own a Dreamcast?
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Blue-haired teenager is some kinda' destined hero who can save the world. He also has the ability to turn into a dragon and his travelling company consists of a cute blonde with black feathery wings, a catgirl, and a fat useless dog to name a few.
 

Stridershy

The King Of Goat Style
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The Place Where Goats Are
Local Roadie dies and goes to Metal Heaven. Ozzy's there. Lemmy's there. And you get to ride around in a sweet car and beat people up with an Axe and use your guitar to BRING DOWN THE THUNDAHHHHHHHHHH

But then there's this awful baby's first RTS and everything is ruined forever.
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Local Roadie dies and goes to Metal Heaven. Ozzy's there. Lemmy's there. And you get to ride around in a sweet car and beat people up with an Axe and use your guitar to BRING DOWN THE THUNDAHHHHHHHHHH

But then there's this awful baby's first RTS and everything is ruined forever.
Brutal Legend. Too easy.

You captain a space ship, although technically your character is ranked at commander, and along with some friends both human and alien try to keep an ancient race of genocidal robotic ships from wiping out all life in the universe. The third game's notorious for having a shit ending because EA sucks.
 

OCisbestungulate

Always watching you
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Feb 3, 2016
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Brutal Legend. Too easy.

You captain a space ship, although technically your character is ranked at commander, and along with some friends both human and alien try to keep an ancient race of genocidal robotic ships from wiping out all life in the universe. The third game's notorious for having a shit ending because EA sucks.
Clearly you're talking about Dragon Age. Clearly!
 

BypenThynDragon

I for one welcom our new ruler Smugdeer
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Feb 3, 2016
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Brutal Legend. Too easy.

You captain a space ship, although technically your character is ranked at commander, and along with some friends both human and alien try to keep an ancient race of genocidal robotic ships from wiping out all life in the universe. The third game's notorious for having a shit ending because EA sucks.
Mass Effect?
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Correct Bypen!

Old ancient Atari 2600 game where you play as a tank trying to shoot other tanks without getting shot yourself. Name implies the tank you play as is a drone. I will be very surprised if someone guesses this one right.
 

Killer Beast

Kept you waiting, huh?
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Feb 3, 2016
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Correct Bypen!

Old ancient Atari 2600 game where you play as a tank trying to shoot other tanks without getting shot yourself. Name implies the tank you play as is a drone. I will be very surprised if someone guesses this one right.
I admit, I had to use Google, since I remembered playing a similar game in my childhood, but couldn't remember the name. I think yours is something older, though. The game I used to play was called Super Tank, which was for the NES, I do believe.
 

Rocketknightgeek

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Correct Bypen!

Old ancient Atari 2600 game where you play as a tank trying to shoot other tanks without getting shot yourself. Name implies the tank you play as is a drone. I will be very surprised if someone guesses this one right.
Robot Tank? If I got it then I admit that it's not a total guess as I googled 'remote tank game Atari' and got it that way.

A stick man stands in one spot and strikes violently to the left or right in order to murder enough other stick men to satisfy an arbitrary number.
 

CrazyBob05

Well-Known Member
Feb 9, 2016
64
10
Correct Rocketknight

Think I'll give someone else a chance to post instead of putting up my next game.
 

Killer Beast

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Well, I guess I could re-do my old one, since no one guessed it.

You're a dude that likes to steal stuff. Motivation? You just have to pay your landlord and sneaking and stealing is the thing you're most skilled at. You break into people's homes and mansions and rob them blind, whilst making snarky comments at their opulence. Later on, you even end up stealing from what is, essentially, a god in disguise!
 

Rich Jammer

By the Numbers Accountant
Backers' Beta Tester
Well, I guess I could re-do my old one, since no one guessed it.

You're a dude that likes to steal stuff. Motivation? You just have to pay your landlord and sneaking and stealing is the thing you're most skilled at. You break into people's homes and mansions and rob them blind, whilst making snarky comments at their opulence. Later on, you even end up stealing from what is, essentially, a god in disguise!
Sounds like the Thief series. Not counting THI4F.
 
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Rocketknightgeek

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Just going to repeat the one I left on the last page with my correct answer, seeing as the page turnover made everyone ignore it.

A stick man stands in one spot and strikes violently to the left or right in order to murder enough other stick men to satisfy an arbitrary number.
 

$Bison

Well-Known Member
Apr 11, 2016
68
223
Blue-haired teenager is some kinda' destined hero who can save the world. He also has the ability to turn into a dragon and his travelling company consists of a cute blonde with black feathery wings, a catgirl, and a fat useless dog to name a few.
Breath of Fire II?

A stick man stands in one spot and strikes violently to the left or right in order to murder enough other stick men to satisfy an arbitrary number.
One Finger Death Punch?

Before they part ways in high school, teenagers make a bad life choice when the charm they made for the purpose of bringing friends closer together turns out to be a death ritual where they all become sacrifices to Pikachu. (at least in the remake)
 

DungeonMiner

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A game about a different game that is not actually like that game. I mean, yeah, you get to shoot stuff, but all the real meat's in the original. The original's not the best either. This is their fifth shot at making the dumb thing, and they still can't decide if they want the setting to be sci-fi or fantasy. So there you go, running off in psuedo-seattle, shooting people, hacking computers, and using drones as you try to find the killer of your friend, only to find weird bug spirits are trying to destroy the world.
 
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Stridershy

The King Of Goat Style
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Feb 3, 2016
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A series of games in which you travel around the galaxy, and all your choices impact how the game is played, but the ultimate choice boils down to "Red or Blue".
 

Avering

Pew-Pew
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Feb 3, 2016
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Your soup
A series of games in which you travel around the galaxy, and all your choices impact how the game is played, but the ultimate choice boils down to "Red or Blue".
Choose green. Cus you always need a boring everyone is happy and friendly and crap ending.
 
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