The Monkey's Paw

[bibliogeek]

Wish granted, television itself has been abolished from existence.

I wish I could control spacetime.

 

[Altashi]

Granted, you now have control over Spacetime.

I splork for at least 30 new pairs of socks.

 

[DungeonMiner]

Granted! Unfortunately, you lose one half of each unique pair in the washing machine, leaving you with thirty unpairable, lone socks.

I wish we could all just get along...

 

[Naughta_Noob]

Wish granted, everyone now gets along...to hate you.

I wish I had Comic Con exclusive merchandise.

 

[Horsebucking Ponymaggot]

Granted, but the merch is only exclusive for a few months, and is available everywhere afterwards...for half the price.

I wish for a teleporter that could send me to anyplace that I wanted, fictional or not.

 

[V.A.a.M.P.P]

GRANTED you are now in the world of the land before time, and once you get out of the teleporter a stegosaurus destroys it and now you are stuck there.

I wish my pockets had infinite money inside them.

 

[Horsebucking Ponymaggot]

Granted, however as you never wish for infinite sized pockets, the money starts pouring outside your pocket and quickly flooding the entire planet, killing everybody.

I wish for the person below me to not corrupt this wish.

 

[CactusPearGamer]

Granted: The person living on the other side of the planet to you [Edit: a seafarer in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean] does not corrupt your wish.

I wish Them's Fighting Herds will have a playable peryton character upon release.

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

Wish granted, but it is just a bad re-skin of Fillia from Skullgirls

I wish Pokemon had stopped making up new Pokemon after Diamond and Pearl.

 

[DungeonMiner]

Granted! Instead they make digimon.

I wish I hasn't hurt my ankle.

 

[Hacchi]

Granted, you hurt your wrist instead.

I wish i were a griffin

 

[Naughta_Noob]

Wish granted, your name has now been legally changed to 'Griffin'

I wish to own a house.

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

you now own a house, on Mars.

I wish for a brand new pair of shoes.

 

[Horsebucking Ponymaggot]

Granted, but these shoes just happen to be sacks you tied onto your feet.

I wish that I was never born.

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

Wish granted, though you never existed to make this wish. It never happens. A paradox begins.

I wish I had something to do other than play Cabela's Alaskan Adventures for the PS2

 

[CactusPearGamer]

Wish granted, though you never existed to make this wish. It never happens. A paradox begins.

I wish I had something to do other than play Cabela's Alaskan Adventures for the PS2

Granted. Them's Fightin' Herds releases and everyone complains about it being a ripoff of Cabela's Alaskan Adventures.

I wish to know what people on the internet are thinking. They perplex me sometimes.

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

The pure influx of different thoughts and points of view would make any person lose their sanity. But right now I'm wondering why they mad ice-cream into a Pokemon.

I wish for an alternate universe where every character on TV is voiced by Larry the Cable Guy.

 

[OCisbestungulate]

Granted! Though mostly because he's now the only person in the universe.

I wish we could reach 100 in the counting thread.

 

[V.A.a.M.P.P]

GRANTED. But it only reached it by going in negative numbers

I wish I was ten again so the adult life can be as far away from me

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

Wish granted, you become the number 10 "again" somehow.

I wish there was more Young Justice.

 

[Firekirby]

Wish granted, you become the number 10 "again" somehow.

I wish there was more Young Justice.

Granted. They bring it back as Young Justice Go!

I wish cartoon companies paid more attention to what their fans enjoy about their shows.

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

Wish granted, every episode of every show is just fan-service.

I wish for an outfit that is always clean and never needs to be washed

 

[V.A.a.M.P.P]

GRANTED, Its so clean and bright that anyone that looks at goes blind.

I wish troll comments didn't exist and everyone on the internet was nice to each other.

 

[Hacchi]

Granted, but constructive criticism also doesn't exist, and people never improve

I wish to become royalty

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

Wish granted, you are now the non-princess of some land far away where the people don't speak any language you speak and they overthrow your rule, and form a democracy. Basically nothing happens to you personally.

I wish I was really good at something instead of being pretty good at lots of things.

 

[Cosmix360]

Wish granted. You become so good at something that you stop paying attention to your health, causing you to be unable to it anymore.

I wish I was happier.

 

[DungeonMiner]

Wish granted! You are exactly on plank-emote happier!

I wish would never go bald.

 

[Askerad]

Granted. Your hair will never fall. But it keeps growing. and fast. if i were you, i wouldn't stay inside, you could suffocate yourself with these.

I wish for absolute mastery of every fighting game.

 

[Hacchi]

Granted, but you forgot how to do everything else

I wish I knew where the DVD remote is

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

You find out that the DVD remote has left your house for another couch to get stuck in and another family to utterly confuse. You just ask for it back I guess...

I wish that life wasn't so confusing.

 

[Cosmix360]

Wish granted, everything is so clear to you so you go off to spread your knowledge, unfortunately the people reject you saying you are no prophet and sentence you to be stoned.

I wish that I knew what to do for my project in my Radio and TV class.

 

[OCisbestungulate]

Granted! But it is so grandiose in size and design that no lone human could ever accomplish it, thus causing you hire a small nation to do it and running you into the red for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a grape to kiss.

 

[Hacchi]

Granted, bur you end up eating it by accident

I wish that large pimple on my chest would go away

 

[OCisbestungulate]

Granted! But it happened because a Xenomorph burst out of your chest right where the pimple was.

I wish I could drive two cars at once.

 

[DungeonMiner]

Granted! You do! It ends horribly!

I wish I knew what to wish for.

 

[Cinnamaldehyde]

Ideas flow through your head, you can't decide. You truly wish to know what to wish for; apparently you wish for a paradox.

I wish for an electric egg beater.

 

[V.A.a.M.P.P]

Granted. The electric egg beater, beat up all the hard shelled eggs and went on to beat the hard boiled egg champion in an eggtravagent match of the ages. He never once cracked under preasure .

I wish to know who will write the next comment before it's written.

 

[OCisbestungulate]

Granted! But the answer comes at such a non-surprise that your whole world view is now tainted and you are never surprised again.

I wish for more cow to stare into my soul.

 

[Velvet_The_Reindeer]

Granted but by opening the soul to Cow the great Auroch ends up transforming you into part of the herd.

I wish for the power of shapeshifting.

 

[OCisbestungulate]

Granted! But the only shapes you can now take are now 2 dimentional geometric ones.

I wish I was asleep right now...