Aww, thanks! Indeed, thanks to all! And:And thus ends the first full fledged TFH fan-fic (that I am aware of), courtesy of all of our favorite slavering predator-worshiper. Three cheers for OC on a job well done! While admittedly a bit jelly, I also am happy that you stuck with it and delivered on what I have so far totally failed to do, and provided this young fandom with some worthy fan-fiction with which to pass the long wait, and keep us interested in this world. So thanks!
You have also inspired me to get my a-- moving on my own fic, so maybe I will revive that again here soon. Anyway, thanks for the little adventure, and it's been a fun read!
So passes Ziege, son of... Diege? Liege? It's weird to talk about your OC as dead, then switching back to working on our RP event involving him. Poor Pam, and poor Pop, how will he get along all alone out there in the woods? Every good ending needs some tragedy though! I was hoping the Empress would kick some flank when she finally got done with her beauty sleep, seriously needs to get an alarm or something though. Just curious, considering this is using the same character, will this have any effect on our RP? Or is that a secret?
Thanks Zero. I'll get those things fixed up soon-ish. That said: I've never read any of his books or seen the movies. So I get to say that I didn't steal from those!I'm OC's editor. Well, I used to be, then I kinda did some stuff, got busy, forgot to edit for him and just was kind of a bad editor all around. I wasn't reliable, but I aim to fix that, starting with this last chapter! So these are spoilers, but they're mostly filled with small corrections that OC will take care of in the next few days, take a gander if you'd like.
One I'll give you guys for free:
-She placed it on the ground, and smashed it with a hoof.
-(Percy Jackson much?)
*That was actually the only thing in Chap 4 that was wrong... and it wasn't even wrong, I just wanted to make a comment.*
Words of wisdom, if only I could do this, I might finish something someday. Maybe.In short, I know of the many shortcomings of this story, but I wanted to say that I wanted to allow myself to make them.
I thought it was more like her embracing the balance of the two aspects that allowed her to defeat him. Idk, it didn't really seem like something outside of her to me, more like a revelation (albeit with some help) that allowed her to channel her own inner power, but maybe I misunderstood.Even when she beat Zhou, it wasn't her that won, but it was he who was beaten by something else.
You know, you're right. Besides, it's a bit hypocritical of me to be all like, "It's okay to write bad things!" and then be all like "Oh woe is me! I wrote a bad thing!" Not to mention it's totally a buzz-kill when a writer/painter/etc..., does that kind of thing. So, here's to simply letting my unnessary (and I imagine laborious) lamentations go!This is true, but I think you are over-stating it a bit. Yeah, she got beat up alot, but I for one liked that. You're right that she could have been more of the driving force for plot progression, but that could be done despite her defeats, rather than in their stead. Her determination and willpower are shown, and those can be as good tools as martial prowess. Her struggles made her feel more like a growing, developing character - more 'human' if you will, and there is definitely something to be said for that. Not to say she couldn't do with dishing out a meaningful beating or two.
I thought it was more like her embracing the balance of the two aspects that allowed her to defeat him. Idk, it didn't really seem like something outside of her to me, more like a revelation (albeit with some help) that allowed her to channel her own inner power, but maybe I misunderstood.
It did feel like she was carried along alot, and there are other flaws, but that is no reason for remorse. Writing stuff like this is the best practice. Alot of things you won't ever recognize until it is written and posted, so as with most things in life, just doing it and keeping an open mind to your mistakes and what you can learn is the best way. This is a good story that was enjoyed by many of us, and also revealed to you some points you could work on, so it is a win win, yes? As Bruce Lee once said; "Absorb what is useful, discard what is not."
I applaud you, good sir! 'Twas an honor to serve you and this story!It took far too long to upload this, but here it is:
Epilogue To The Darkness
Tianhuo shifted in her armor as she flew through the sky. It was a clear morning, with the sun having just risen over the horizon. Today was a big day for her. Today she would be promoted to Captain of the Guard, the highest position one could attain. The Empress had decided that since she had proven herself fearless, skilled, and loyal beyond question, that she would be the perfect fit for the position. Tianhuo had been humbled by this choice, and was still unsure of she was fit to fill such a major position. Still, The Empress trusted her, and she would serve her until her dying breath.
That, however, would have to wait. The ceremony wasn't until mid-afternoon and she had somewhere else to be until then. Her mind drifted slightly as she made her way across the heavens. She thought of all that had happened only a few days ago. About how she had nearly lost her life to the traitor Zhou, how the Empire itself had been attacked, and about how The Empress had been abducted directly out of her chambers. And about how…
Her mind drifted to emptiness as the sun continued its slow climb up the sky. Right now she didn't want to think about too much. She let out a sigh. She would be there soon enough. She should save her thoughts for then.
Until then, she let her mind drift to the memory of when they had stepped through the portal. They had arrived in the midst of unbridled chaos as Longma and invader fought each other. She had stood, her long graceful body and scales shining in the sun, and in a powerful called to her dear friends (for she saw her subjects as such). At once every Longma looked at her, dark mark or no, and their eyes filled with adoration. With one voice they all shouted a mighty war cry, and Tianhuo had watched in awe as the marks upon her fellow Longma suddenly vanished without a trace. It did not take long after that to turn the tide and crush the invaders.
Invaders. The word made her thoughts drift to the traitor Zhou. It was true that his actions had caused the invasion, and that he was guilty of high treason. However, when they had found him, a twisted form clinging to life and begging for mercy, they had taken pity on him. And when Tianhuo had told them that it was his actions that had sent her to The Empress, they had decided that he would live. However, he would rot in their dungeons for many years for his actions. She sighed. She didn't want to think about such things anymore. There would be more then enough heaviness for one day.
Some time passed, and by the time she arrived, it was near mid-morning. As she flew over her destination, she glanced down. There, in the center of a scorched patch of forest, stood a ram, a reindeer, and two dogs. Before them, four markers sat upon the ground. It looked like she was just in time for Pam's funeral.
She choked back some tears at that thought. Now was not the time for that. Soon, but not yet. She descended to land beside the ram, who sat on a stretcher held up by his two dogs. He, and the reindeer, looked over at her. Pop gave her a sad smile, and she smiled in return.
“I'm sorry…” she said quietly.
Pop's smile changed little, and he shook his head slightly. “You brought her back to me. That's more then enough.” his eyes closed and his ears hung, “I just … wish I could have been there.”
A gentle, yet sad silence filled the air around them for a time. “She heard Pom's voice.” Tianhuo said at length.
“I'm glad.” Pop replied softly.
“So it worked. I'm glad.” the reindeer smiled slightly.
Tianhuo looked at him curiously. “Oh, Tianhuo,” Pop began, “this is an old friend of ours. Pam and I met him many years ago. He's the one who made it possible for Pom to talk to you guys,”
“I see. You must know a thing or two about magic then.” Tianhuo appraised the old reindeer. He almost looked more like a plant then an ungulate.
“I do, but that's not really important.” he replied, waving a dismissive hoof. “What's important is that Pom was able to reach her.”
“In speaking of which, where is Pom? Or her brother?” Tianhuo looked around, but saw no trace of the little lamb.
Pop shook his head sadly. “After all of that happened, her parents moved and took her with them. Besides, I don't know that she would be able to handle being here.” he sighed.
“I wouldn't underestimate that lamp, old friend.” The reindeer said, “She may be rather meek now, but I saw something great in those eyes. But that's nether here nor there. Shall we start, Pop?”
Pop took a deep breath, held it for a second, then let it out. “Sure, I just wanna ask Tianhuo one last question.” he said, turning to look at her. “Tell me, did she die a hero?”
The question caught Tianhuo completely off guard. She stumbled slightly as it hit her, and a few tears came out of her eyes. She thought back on that horrible cave, and her fight with Pam. She had Tianhuo's life in her hooves, but she faltered. One quick strike, and it would have been all over. Had she died a hero? “Yes, Pop. Yes she did. And she wanted me to tell you-”
“That she lov-” he started to finish for her, but his throat caught, and he was unable to finish speaking.
“That she loved you. And that she loved Pom as though she was her own.” Tianhuo said, reaching out and putting a hoof on him.
Pop was unable to say anything after that. He wanted to, she could tell, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Finally, after some time, he collected himself once more. “Pam,” he said, his voice clear and loud as began the service, “I cannot follow you. You have gone, as all of us, to a pasture beyond the far mountains. You have gone to that pasture where our fathers, our mothers, our sisters and brothers, and where even our children have gone.” it was hard for him to speak, but his voice held steady. “Pam, when you get there, bid them hello for us, their kin. And when you graze beside them, think of us as the green grass fills your belly. May you bleat with joy forever more, and may...” his voice finally gave out, and he could say no more.
“And may the skies above you be free and clear from care and sorrow. Rest in peace, our beloved Pam.” the reindeer finished. Pop turned to him to say 'Thank You', but couldn't. The reindeer nodded in reply. “My old friend, I would do almost anything for you and Pam.”
“Thank you.” he said quietly, then began weeping. Tianhuo had no idea for how long he wept, nor did she care. Rather, she stood in salute, as one would a fallen hero. She knew that she would be late to her promotion ceremony, but right now, she didn't care. Right now, she had a friend to bid farewell.
I suppose in retospect, I should have actually written the scene in the which the Empress saves her empire, but oh well.
And that's it. No more. The story is done.