Found this on another forum I browse.
I think the idea is simple enough.

Spoiler: My 'reviews'

DOTA 2 - CYKA BLYAT REPOT NOOB
Team Fortress 2 - Where is my team?
Awesomenauts - Two jellyfish and me.
Killing Floor - Carrying scrubs in normal.
Killing Floor 2 - Getting carried by scrubs.
Skullgirls - BEOWULF IS BAE WULF.
XCOM (2) - HOW DID YOU MISS?!
Castle Crashers - Light Light Heavy Magic
Crypt of the NecroDancer - I was on beat!
Overwatch - Just pick Lucio.

 

Kingdom Hearts (Series): Something about a key...
Monster Hunter (Series): WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?
The Legendary Starfy: I'm a cute starfish!
Pokémon (Series): Gotta catch 'em all!

 

Elite: Storymode is overrated
(Actually, it's official "Blaze your own trail" fits into the rules as well)
Cities:Skylines: God damn Chirpy!
Stellaris: AI rebellions are awesome
Counter Strike: Shooting with Parkinsons simulator

 

Spoiler: You want it? You got it!

Arc Rise Fantasia - Turn-based Tales game
Kirby - I'm a vacuum cleaner
Team Fortress 2 - Dat 4 snipers
Dota 2 - Like an abusive spouse
Freedom Planet - Best modern Sonic game
One Way Heroics - Walk left to die
CLANNAD - Please stop cutting onions
Katawa Shoujo - Hanako is best girl
Dragon Quest IX - The Celestrians are dicks

 

Here is one that doesn't need to be introduced: Cute fuzzy animals fighting (DUH)
For all the others I will leave out the names and later post the answers.
SHALL WE PLAY A GAME!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Might Magic Castles Creatures,
Gene splicing creatures RTS,
Its time to D-d-d-duel!,
Monster reached stage 3!!!,
shooty strealy automobiley game,
guilty prove innocence stealth,
gotta go fast platformer,
diablo-esque RPG Tala Moana!,
diablo-esque RPG shooter BADASS,
step step jump hold,
C.Mk qcf P Fireball,
Space minecraft-esque planet exploration,
I have more but these will do for now if you like and want to play more then I will post more.

Spoiler

EDIT: Naming the games in order:
Heroes of might and magic,
Impossible Creatures,
Yu-gi-oh,
Evolve,
GTA,
Dishonored,
Sonic The Hedgehog,
Path of Exile,
Borderlands,
DDR/ Stepmania,
SF V,
No man's Sky.

 

Rogue Legacy - Mutated Progeny Meat Grinder
Skyrim - Knee Shooting Simulator +Dragons
Fallout/TES - Carry Armory, Toothpick Overencumbers

 

Portal 2: Cake is a meme
Mario Games: It's a me, Mario
Splatoon: Your a Squid now

 

Fallout: "War, war never changes."
Halo: pretty cool guy
The Elder Scrolls: "You are over-encumbered!"
Warcraft III: Endless custom games
Dawn of War: Massive death battles + explosions
Dawn of War II: Tactical death battles + explosions
Overwatch: "It's high noon..."
Super Mario World: Cape > everything
Mass Effect: "Tell me about X..."
Dragon Age: Fantasy Europe - The Game

 

Doom: Rip and tear!
Destiny: Almost a Halo clone
TF2: Hats are very expensive
Super Metroid: Vampire jellyfish imprints
Godville: The hero is drunk
Pokemon: Illegal slave animal brawling
Kingdom Hearts: Mickey Mouse RPG
Evolve: The Gorgon cometh

 

Titanfall: Michael Bay is proud
PAYDAY 2: Don't act dumb.
Hearthstone: "My greetings." "Well played."
FTL: Everything is on fire
Hotline Miami: Press R to restart
Monster Hunter Generations: Staying in Pokke Village.

 

NiGHTS - The Feeling of Flight.
Bayonetta - Kill gods, be fabulous.
Fighters in general - For F**KS sake, BLOCK! (this for when trying to teach newer players)

 

The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth - Kill with deadly tears
Mega Man 2 - Pew pew pew

 

Fallout 4 survival mode: What is immune system?
Planetbase: Eat, you moron!
Red orchestra 2: Charging into machineguns simulator.
Rising storm: Banzaaaaaai!

 

Monster Hunter: kill, smith, repeat
Tekken: Anyone can kick A$$
Soul Calibur: blue or red sword?
Animal Crossing: Soothing time killer
Smash bros: just one more match
Tomodach life: Shipping the game
Senran Kagura: Totally ninjas
Skyrim: what mods you have?

 

Metal Gear: Sneak Choke Smoke Explode!
Doom: Shoot Shoot Shoot SHOOT!
Overwatch: Spray Wait Ultimate POTG
Castlevania: Jump Whip Candles Monsters

 

Pokemon: Definitely not cockfighting
100% Orange Juice: Mario Party with animu.
Skullgirls: Jiggling surprisingly doesn't distract.
Terraria: Built a "simple house"
Mario Kart: Learn to hate blue.
Binding of Isaac: Little boy's bad day.
Wakfu: The grind never ends.

That's about all I can think of for now.

 

Binding of Issac: AfterBirth - You kill Satan
Super Meat Boy- Dead Dead OH! Dead
Tabletop Simulator -resist to flip table
Risk of Rain- Their everywhere!!!!!
Dynasty Warriors - peasant warrior killing simulator
Dark souls- You have died

 

Spoiler: WAA.

• Super Smash Bros 64 - "We fight a glove!"
• Crash Bandicoot - "Orange Bandicoot, Blue Pants"
• LittleBigPlanet 2 - "Demonic vacuum from hell"
• Tabletop Simulator - "Thank GOD for Undo"
• Destiny - "Crawl to light cap"
• Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards - "That one factory level"
• Animal Crossing: New Leaf - "Got chores to do"
• The Binding of Isaac - "Cry her heart out"
• Battleblock Theatre - "He pooped to death"
• Tales of Symphonia - "Wow that plot twist" (Alt. "We'll save the world!")
• Terraria - "2 dimensions, endless possibilities"
• Undertale - "I can't True Reset."
• Epic Battle Fantasy 4 - "Stop clicking on them."
• Left 4 Dead 2 - "Seriously, play with friends"
• Monopoly - "My friend the dictator" (Boardgame bonus~!)

 

Them's Fightin' Herds: HOLY HYPE METER BATMAN!

 

Simple but sad review for all of my favorite games, witch are as follows:
Starfleet Command
Star Fleet Battles
Yugioh (Classic Generations)
Star Trek: Fleet Captains
Star Trek: Attack Wing
Dice Masters
Heroclix
Civilization 5
And more....

Nobody.... Wants.... To.... Play! (with me)

 

Star Trek Online: Space, the final frontier...

 

DiRT series: Please, please, don't crash
Terraria: Pillage the environment simulator
Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops/ Peace walker/ Phantom Pain: Kidnap the enemy simulator

 

Doom: Big guns, bigger guns.
Mortal Kombat: Head punching glory.
Monster Hunter: [White Fatalis Theme Plays]
BlazBlue: I can't do it.
Overwatch: Y'all need a Soldier?
Binding Of Issac: Local Hero goes mad.
Marvel Vs Capcom: Dante/Vergil/Wesker
Killer Instinct: Just play Cinder.
New Killer Instinct: Just play Cinder!
Diablo: SPIN 2 WIN!

 

TFH- Waiting for the Beta
XD

 

Dungeons And Dragons - My dice killed me.
13th Age - DnD, but possibly better.
Defiance - Borderlands, but in LA
Overwatch - Memeteam is best team.
Heroes of Might and Magic 4 - The installment nobody loved.
Thief (the first two) - Real professionals don't kill.
Red Alert 2: Yuri's Revenge - Yuri's side is broken. (The Soviets are the best side to play anyway.)

 

MELTY BLOOD: Air dashing isn't scary
Audiourf: Sliiiiiiiide to the right
Dungeons of Dredmor: Turn it into lutefisk
Kirby's Air Ride: Must, beat, King Dedede!
Borderlands: Is this gun better?
Paper Mario (64): Bow is best partner
Street Fighter II: Dat dadat dadaaaaa
Monster Rancher: Just, one more disk
Killer Instinct: C-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!

 

Disgaea: ALL THESE LEVEL-UPS!

 

Dupe all the legendaries.

Or at least the non-cruddy ones. Seriously, some of them just suck.

Kill 9999's with 1's

Because you can even level up equipment in the games.

 

Visual Novel Edition:
Harmonia - Warm Orange Powapowa Soup
Higurashi - Rural teens go insane
Hatoful Boyfriend - Nageki is best pigeon
Hatoful Boyfriend: Holiday Star - Nageki still best pigeon
Kiss for the Petals - Yuri, that is all
Planetarian - Why did everything break?

 

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Series:


Shadow of Chernobyl - "чики ьрики в дамку"
Clear Sky - "STOP JAMMING ON ME!!!"
Call of Pripyat - "I'd rather play SoC."


Monster Girl Quest Part 1 - Better than I thought.
Monster Girl Quest Part 2 - Philosophical debates, Societal Commentary.
Monster Girl Quest Part 3 - Better story than Inception.

 

Skullgirls - HOT 2D FIGHTING!
Kingdom Hearts - FF for casuals
Batman: Arkham City - I'm BATMAN!

 

NiGHTS into Dreams - flying feels so fluid
Undertale - Typical approach betrays intent
.Hack series - Red herrings galore
Disgaea 5 - Common sense hinders
Skullgirls - stunning, stylish, and fun
SFV - Great when it works...
Blazblue:CF - More expansions, less disks
Final Fantasy IX - Stunning sights and sounds
Shantae:HGH - Laugh while you play
Dark Souls: Genius design, bugs galore

 

Overwatch: Can't stop won't stop.

 

Spyro - Purple lizard does things.
Destiny - Ball gives awesome powers.
DOOM - Guns and demons galore.
Fallout 4 - Settlements need your help.
Warframe - Space ninjas with guns.

 

Overwatch - ELO hell is fun.
Mibibli's Quest - Sweet suffering... and wieners.
Skullgirls - My fighting game introduction.
Rivals of Aether - Super Smash Furries Melee.
Binding of Isaac: Rebirth - That's another run broken.
OneShot - Retroactive Undertale ripoff.
Wario Land 4: My childhood was fat.

 

Kingdom Hearts - Best official fanfic evah
Kingdom Hearts 2 - Fun combat, confusing story
Ratchet and Clank (series) - So many great weapons
The Last of Us - No, I'm not crying

More to come later

 

Portal - A good sample
Portal 2 - SPAAAAAAAAAAACE
Resident Evil 4 - God damn it, Ashley
Shadow of the Colossus - Ugh, gotta climb again
Dead Space - Oh no, more vents
Dead Space 2 - Come at me, necromorphs
(Ultra/Super) Street Fighter IV - Ugh, another Ryu player

 

Fallout 1: Water purified.
Osu: I missed that!?!
Audiosurf 2: Restart button.
Skull girls: I cant win once!!!
Garry's mod: LOOK OUT!
Half-life: "It's not shutting down!"
Rust: Friendly? *Snap*

 

A few more to add to the list:
Wario Land 3: Get hurt to win
N++: Pure and punishing platforming
Nitroplus Blasterz: Waifus fighting other waifus
Dragon Quest VII: This game is LONG!
Dragon Quest IV: Psaro, the original Sephiroth
Cthulhu Saves the World: Everyone is lovably stupid
Runner2: Run, Die, Back, Retry