OC: Fluffy

BypenThynDragon

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So Vidz drew my OC, and I wanted to share it.


Fluffy was just a tiny fawn when she wondered into the woods alone. She ended up lost in a blizzard and was presumed dead. Lost in the blizzard and near death, the young reindeer came across a very neckbrase with a black jewel in it calling to her. Upon putting on the neckbrase she found a Demon inside, the demon called himself Zack and manifested the form of a polar bear. Desperate Fluffy ended up making a pact with the demon, but before the pact was complete, Fluffy fell into the destructive power of the blizzard. Zack using most of his power and the remaining life essence of Fluffy was able to save the fawn, but at the cost of combining her life-force with his own. While the two fought against the blizzard, Zack explained that he was a demon of old and fought against the predators, only to be thrown away, for the unicorn whom he had made a pact with feared dark magic. After the blizzard ended, Fluffy tried to return to her village only to be disowned by her parents and shunned by everyone for her acceptance of dark magic. It was at this point she cracked and tried to murder her village for not re-accepting her. Luckily she was stopped by Zack, who knew that in time, the predators would threaten Foenum once more. Zack took this time to teach Fluffy, with minimal results, as Zack was weak from the massive amount of energy he must spend in order to keep Fluffy alive, and Fluffy's magic was so poor that is was limited to small summons(like cookies), a bit of Ice magic, and Telepathy. Over the years of training the consequences of the uncompleted pact and, strains of magic used to keep Fluffy alive showed, she was unable to age, staying at the age of a fawn despite being hundreds of years old. Another problem with the combination of the isolated training and Fluffy's incomplete pact, is that Fluffy had started becoming more and more mentally unstable. She, having not shown any promise in Magic, trained and became a master at wielding knifes. She even got into the habit of carrying many, many, knives in her clothes and fluff and would get ticked off at the slightest insult. The only thing keeping her from going on a murder spree was the Zack's level head, and sometimes that didn't work. Everyday Zack looses more and more energy, keeping the one he treats like a daughter alive, caring only about her, and if a threat if big enough or a target small enough, Zack would often let Fluffy go wild on her next victim, were she becomes a cold crazed, precise killer.
 

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Zenopo

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I assume the pic is that of the OC? If so, it doesn't seem very original in design, it looks like a palette swap Velvet with Oleander's Fred.
I also think she snapped a bit to easily, at least for the level of "crazy" you have her at. I have little to no knowledge of this game's world, but find it contrary that a Demon is not enticing the character from going on a killing spree.
Note: I'm being critical, not bad mouthing.
 
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BypenThynDragon

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I assume the pic is that of the OC? If so, it doesn't seem very original in design, it looks like a palette swap Velvet with Oleander's Fred.
I also think she snapped a bit to easily, at least for the level of "crazy" you have her at. I have little to no knowledge of this game's world, but find it contrary that a Demon is not enticing the character from going on a killing spree.
Note: I'm being critical, not bad mouthing.
The OC was made over a year ao when the forums first came out, I just wanted to show it off. I can see what you mean when you said it looks like Velvet, I see her as shorter and more stocky then Velvet + the horns are quite different. But I don't see what you mean as the demon looking like Fred, the head and color is different and yes he is also a demon so there are some similarities.
Also her snapping early is apart of the character, it's just a trait to prove she is unstable. As for the Demon story comment, its uncalled for, your saying IDK how it works but I don't like how you did it. He is like that way to contrast the Fluffy's chaotic nature and not just make the duo murder-hobos.
While I do appreciate criticism, all your stuff is negative and some makes no since(No one knows the story, why is that an issue). Its also nice when receiving criticism to hear some positive things as to not just give the impression that you're just dissing on them.
Thank you for taking the time to wright out your though and such on the character though. I am always looking for ways to improve at this sort of stuff.
 

Feanor

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I assume the pic is that of the OC? If so, it doesn't seem very original in design, it looks like a palette swap Velvet with Oleander's Fred.
I also think she snapped a bit to easily, at least for the level of "crazy" you have her at. I have little to no knowledge of this game's world, but find it contrary that a Demon is not enticing the character from going on a killing spree.
Note: I'm being critical, not bad mouthing.
Yeah that is kinda the point with Zack. He is not like most other Demons, I might even venture to say it is... original. On the topic of which Zack really looks nothing like Fred if you compare their designs, outside of the incorporeal body, which is reasonable to assume is common to all Demons. I believe Fluffy's color design was indeed inspired by a Velvet skin, and a cool one.
 

Zenopo

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Oct 17, 2016
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@BypenThynDragon
Shorter, more stocky, different horns, to me it looks like a "punk" version of Velvet. Apologies, what I meant by the Fred comparison, was that both have specter like bodies, which are large, and having a more define head. Fair enough on her snapping, it's just she showed no sign of instability prior to the event. I did not say you did not know how demons worked, I said I did not know how they worked, but find it odd how demons pertaining to this game are good. This applies to Oleander's Fred, though we might see that he could be evil via the story mode. Murder hobo's sounds fun, like Carnage from Mahvel.
I find it beneficial to focus on the negative, this way people know what to focus on. Apologies, I assumed my comment; "Note: I'm being critical, not bad mouthing." was enough to let you know I wasn't trying to be mean. I also figured other people would only have positive feebdack and if everyone is giving a positive review, then that could get to one's head. I'm also just really hard to please, so take what I say with a grain of salt. You are welcome and I apologize again for just focusing on the negative. However, I will most likely continue doing so...with maybe a compliment here and there, depending.

@Feanor
In terms of how we think of demons, yes, in terms of this game, same as Fred (both being nice)
Aye, I addressed this in my reply to Bypen.
 
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