I'm back in... Goddamnit.

Victor Castelleanos. I'd be a grizzled Spanish preacher with a really cool hat. If you sent a fart back in time, would it still stink?

Yes. We need to ban Tumblr, and give everyone who owns an account on it a five year prison sentence where we surgically f%ck with their tear ducts so that can't keep crying about everything. What's new?

No. They took a dirty sh*t on Spyro. Excited for the Spyro remake?

I'm not really a fan of 3D. Maybe an older movie, like Jaws, to see how they did it 'back in the day'.

I get stuck in the control options. Can I eat your sandwich?

I would love to see a horror character expy, ala Mortal Kombat.

Not really. I am interested to see how it's received, though. Wanna see what's in my pocket?

Saturday. Is there really any other choice?

Is Bughorse skin.

I'm worried people will hear about this and instantly think 'Street Fighter' with the lack of story mode. Fair enough releasing the game on time, but this seems risky.

None. They tested me in school when I was like 15 and were basically like 'you're a lost cause for writing, you can type instead'. Favourite type of beans?

Curious to know.

No. He did not. Now you've made things awkward Brawl. You turned a simple question into a big hullabaloo and fuss. Hope you feel good about yourself. You monster. In exchange for the small toe on your left foot (which will be painlessly taken from you), you will be able to adjust your voice...

Contrary to popular belief, the family's name in the original Texas chainsaw massacre was not Sawyer (a name which I believe originated in the second film), but is revealed from a sign at the Last Chance gas station to be Slaughter (the sign itself reads 'W. E. Slaughter). Favourite manly mans man?

Basically a bunch of weeb sh*t.

I feel like the best transgender character would be one we don't know is transgender. Generally with these things, I feel the most respectful way to approach these things is to make as little fuss about them as possible. It's not supposed to be a big deal to be different anymore. Would you...

Nah. Just watching sports is too much effort for me. How was Valentine's Day?

The second one. I don't speak morse code. Do you think it would be useful to know morse code?

All of them. They are all gross. Am I a bad person for trolling the left wing degenerates on the Escapist?